Tag Archives: social space

Ocean view.

20 Nov

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Dear Disappointment,

You’re heavy. You hang around longer than you should, and selfishly fill the space, becoming all-consuming. You make it difficult to see the light, the forest, the brighter perspective and frankly, I’m over you.

Thanks, (but no thanks) Luella

I’ve been writing this post for a while now. I blame the above mentioned culprit who stole my creative juice with its heady presence. On the other hand, maybe it’s good time has lapsed, and this post has changed its tone 10 times over. No one needs or benefits from reading a vitriolic tangent or a sad pity filled note to self. So here we are.

For the last year and change, I’ve been working at a job I really loved. I haven’t felt that way since my Casch/Groa days back in my 20’s. So it felt good, and I was professionally really happy. Although there was a long commute, which in turn created an extremely hectic life schedule for drop-offs/pickups and being a Mom – I was representing a team/brand I truly believed in. Something I could tack on as an extension of myself, and really dig deep and produce creative that landed. If I work, and am away from my girls, it has to be worth it. This was a good balance for me. FINALLY. Well… recently my desk got moved to NYC, and took a little bit of my confidence with it. (Insert a variety of applicable emoticons here)

Sooo…. I’ve been interviewing and researching what is out there, all the while battling the rejection blues. I know it wasn’t personal. It was logistics, but I still blame myself based on the mantra I will teach my girls when they’re old enough to understand. ‘Be so great at your task, you’re indispensable’. A staunch believer in merit based eventualities, how do you get over it when you couldn’t have prevented it? The older I get, the more I realize you can do everything right, and sometimes that isn’t good enough to steer clear of choppy waters. This experience hurt more than I expected it to. On the other hand, it’s a growth opportunity. The only way through, is… through.

Interviewing is interesting. It’s kind of like online dating. You go through a couple of rounds of interviews only to find out you’ve been bested by a different candidate, and the company just isn’t into you anymore. All of the sudden you’re dealing with another no that wears away at the hanging shred of confidence you were desperately holding on to. What if I keep ending up where I started at good ol’ square one? How do I feel good enough in the areas of my life that truly matter? How do I fight the urge to retract and wallow? Lots of questions, not a lot of answers.

UNLESS…. you have a *Ralph (see definition below) in your corner, whose reassurances early on, eventually turned to a simply put, short speech that got my ball rolling again. You have two choices. You can either set yourself up in a situation where you look out the window and see barbed wire and trash, or you can put yourself in a position to see the ocean. Take action. Be relentless in the pursuit of your goal. Ask for help. (Just say NO to shame spirals.) 😉

HELLOLuella

So I did. After 7 years of sitting on Luella says, I built it out. I’m entering the freelance race. I am dipping my foot in the proverbial creative pond. It’s an online creative collective filled with my graphic design work and copywriting, it’s also (potentially) the start of a creative firm obsessed with visual storytelling and the social space. It might be nothing, it could be my new gig. Welcome to the world www.luellasays.com. If you know of anyone looking for social guidance, we’re (Laura/Luella) here.

*male species, handsome, good advice giver, tough love disher

 

 

 

 

 

 

#TRUTHday

8 Sep

victoriaerickson

I want to scream at someone, something, my computer, myself, the construction workers across the street who start banging at 7am… anyone really. But what will that solve? Nada. TOO MUCH BAD NEWS lately.

It’s as if there’s a spotlight over the coterie of people I know, and things. just. keephappening. What are my escape route options here? I can shut myself off of social media, but I long to be informed (especially while I am out on maternity leave watching the adult world go by). I can pretend it doesn’t matter, which will get me nowhere, as I suffer trying to make sense of things regardless of what I profess. I can and (likely will anyway) give myself a thousand justifications as to why these things are happening; complete with telling myself to ‘just live in the moment, be grateful, slow down, practice gratitude’ blah blah blah… but I’m over it. As the wise have said, “it is both a blessing and a curse to feeling everything so very deeply.”

So back to trying to process the static of death, infertility, heart defects, brain aneurysms, cancer diagnoses, money woes, professional stagnation etc. etc.  I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m drowning. I want to help everyone. I want to say the perfect thing, bring solace to those who need it, be the funny one who appropriately changes the subject, bring the laughs, wipe the tears, lighten the mood and provide emotional shelter. Did you get all of that? Help me. Help everyone. Whatever you believe in, whomever you call out to for salvation, ask for a reprieve. Things are too heavy lately, so shout it out, send the love, light, prayers and energy filled with hope and positivity to each other and let’s break this cycle.

The truth is bad news, pain, grief and sickness live next door. It’s never an if, it’s a when, and then it’s a how do you process it, and keep moving forward. That’s the fine line. Maybe our current social connectivity has created a false universe where we all believe we are ONLY what we share. We’ve been privy to ‘staged truth’ for too long, and it’s placed us on a fragile pedestal with a cracking foundation. As I’ve said 1000+ times, perception is not reality. Maybe it’s time to get back to the basics, and use our overly connected social space as a resource center, and not simply a show and tell. We can’t help each other if we only know one beautifully staged and photographed side.

Oh, you’re having a hard time in your marriage? Oh, you’re worried your kid is autistic, behind or socially awkward? Oh, you know the ins and outs of metal illness, cancer, eating disorders, fertility treatments and/or fill in the blank? If you speak it, people will come. We all want to feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. The ‘fitting in’ clause doesn’t phase out after high school. There’s comfort in knowing someone else out there has been where you’re now standing, and can offer some advice or lend a hand.

I had a miscarriage before Stella and Wren. When I blogged about it, I had an outpouring of support from my own friends and family whom I otherwise would never have known had a similar and shared experience. They said, ‘thanks for talking about it. You gave us a window to tell our story.’ That’s a social win. That’s #TRUTHday personified.

In a social space filled with challenges to dump ice, donate and rally around the less fortunate, I challenge the everyday individual to put the device down, and spend a little more time living rather than creative directing. Store the snapshots in your head. Don’t leave things unsaid IN PERSON to those who matter. Get home and unplug yourself. Sit at dinner and enjoy the conversation sans selfies and food snaps. Don’t be so quick to move on to the next thing. Sit in the moment. Take a deep breath. Realize this time, this snapshot of your life, will never happen again. Own it and absorb how lucky we are to be here.

Vintage anything is better in my opinion. So if we have to call detaching ourselves from the ‘information matrix’ a vintage approach to re-connecting on a cellular, person-to-person level, then so be it. We’re information rich, yet relationship poor. So let’s do something about it. Let’s make #TRUTHday a permanent movement. An anomaly in that it’s a step back to where we used to be, and a step forward to making it the norm again.

Luella Says… new hashtag movement starts now. #TRUTHday.

truthdayLet’s lift the veil and share our experiences for what they are. A check and balance if you will, of showing life the way it is; complete with blemishes, stains and frayed edges. Let’s really talk to each other. Be truthful, and know not every day is picture perfect. We might actually surprise ourselves with how big our villages become.

anniestruth

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