Dear Stella,

5 May

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Dear Stella Viv,

Let’s start this off with saying how proud of you I am. I know that might seem weird, seeing as though you’re not even 2 yet but I am. I love that your kind-hearted, funny and already super inquisitive and that simply you’re ours; a perfect mashup of your Dad and me. As a family, we’re about to embark on a new adventure and I wanted you to know a couple of things before life gets hectic and you potentially feel left out (hopefully just at first) in the beginning.

First of all, YOU are the reason we are having your sister. In truth, it was always on the table, but after realizing with each milestone how amazing it is to watch you blossom and grow, we were all in. You’ve shown us both how to be better people, how to be patient when we feel like screaming, how to adjust our view finder to life through the fresh eyes of a toddler and how to reach a place in our souls we never knew existed until you laughed for the first time, said I love you, sang or wrapped your arms around our necks and squeezed tight. There are a million moments I wish I could freeze frame and hang on a wall to harken back to when you’re older and likely just not that into us anymore (ok likely just Mom, Dad will reign supreme forever I think). I like to say there is no wine/booze buzz, vacation sunset, race finish, money flow or decadent meal that can even scratch the surface of being relatable to life with you. Honesty back on the table, it’s not simple and definitely not always fun, but even whilst gritting my teeth, through tears (ok, lots and lots of tears) and wanting to offer you up for free at the end of our driveway some days (not really but…) I can’t think of one other thing more important to my legacy than raising you to be a kind soul, willing to help others, chasing YOUR dreams wherever they take you and being happy.

I love being your Mom. I can’t imagine what it will be like to add another soul to my heart, as frankly the real estate square footage is covered between you and Daddy but we’re going for it. You will always be my first, my foray into Mommyhood, my whole heart and then some. Don’t ever forget how much you’re loved. It’s free-flowing, growing and never-ending from Mom and Dad and adding your sister will only strengthen our bond and hopefully our 4′s volleyball team years down the road. You are everything and please remember as you get older that being you is the single best asset you have.

I am going to rely on you to help me these next couple of months as we’re both at home with our new addition (too bad you’re not old enough to drink wine but I will make sure your portion is covered). You can’t know what help even means, but I have an inkling you’re going to surprise us and potentially even yourself with how easy the transition of becoming a big sister will be. Frankly, I was a mess when I brought you home. A MESS. More than anything, I am looking forward to re-living the moments I missed getting caught up in the ‘I have zero clue what I am doing’ maelstrom of a first time mom who never babysat or even changed a diaper before. These redux moments include you, every step of the way. As hard as it’s going to be, we’re in this together. All 4 of us. It’s about to get real so buckle up baby girl and let’s get this crazy, terrible, amazing, really?, ####!, beautiful, hysterical party started.

Love, Mom xo

Ps. If nothing else sticks, know we love you. Every inch of you. Forever.

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One Response to “Dear Stella,”

  1. Carly Beck Yahoo May 5, 2014 at 5:20 PM #

    I was thinking about you this morning and meant to text. So sweet, nicely said mama. How are you feeling?? Due date first week in June??

    Carly Beck 858.525.5540

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